How to date gays in the UK

Tips For Gay Dating in the UK

1. Be up front with what you want

This goes especially for dating online. Most dating devices have an assortment of boxes you can check off to indicate what sort of connections you’re looking to make. Many also have a section where you can describe more vividly what you’re looking for. Use it, and use it well. You’re not going to look too slick if your profile says you’re looking to meet the man of your dreams and your accompanying photo is a naked headless torso. That being said…

2. There are a lot of directions dating can go

I don’t know about you, but when I hear the word ‘date’ I think ‘boyfriend interview’, which is probably why dates inspire so much anxiety in me. But there are unlimited options for what a date could mean and where it could go. A boyfriend? A plain friend? A friend with benefits? A combination or something in between? The best thing you can do is go out and have a good time with someone new.

3. Build your own relationship

Let’s say this isn’t the first date. You’ve had many before this, and you are hoping there will be many more after. Your brain is plagued with those questions: “What does this mean?”, “What are we?”, “Where are we going with this?” Breathe. Obviously this person likes you if they are dedicating this much time to you. That’s what’s important, right? As a society we spend a lot of time to emulate the romance we see in movies and on TV, or sometimes even our own friends, but as I have said before, your relationship is 100% unique, and you need to let it bloom at the rate you want it to, and it the way that you want it to (this ‘you’ being both/all of you, and not you specifically. If only it were that easy!) Have fun, get creative, and be happy with it. And don’t worry about whether or not other people understand it. You owe no one else an explanation.
   

4. Sex is OK

There are a lot of folks out there who like to shame folks for having sex on the first date. I don’t think it’s such a bad idea, as long as you are doing because you want to, and not because you feel like you have to. If sex is important to you, as it is with many gay men, it might be helpful to get a measure on sexual chemistry early on. Sexual tension can make or break a budding relationship; sometimes letting it build up adds to the intrigue, and sometimes you just won’t know how to connect with someone until you’ve had a good roll in the hay together.

5. It’s okay to have an unsuccessful date.

Not all dates are going to go smoothly. Sometimes you hit it off in one form or another, and sometimes there is absolutely zero chemistry. Your date may be a really nice guy! But that doesn’t mean he’s a great match. I have had several dates in the last year with some very nice young men…whom I felt very little desire to see again. I thought the lack of chemistry between us was perfectly palpable, and yet they still asked to see me again. The point here is…don’t be afraid to admit when a date ends with no fireworks. On the flip side, don’t feel like you have to force chemistry with someone simply because they are a decent human being, however hard they may be to come by.